This reminds me of a fable in John Muth's beautiful children's book Zen Shorts...
"Two traveling Monks arrived upon a town where there was a young woman waiting to step out of her sedan chair. The rains had made deep puddles and she couldn’t step across without spoiling her silken robes. She stood there scolding her attendants, looking very cross and impatient. They had nowhere to place the packages they held for her, so they couldn’t help her across the puddle.
The younger monk noticed the women, said nothing and walked by. The older monk quickly picked her up and put her on his back. He transported her across the water and put her down on the other side. She didn’t thank the older monk. She just shoved him out of the way and departed.
As they continued on their way the young monk was brooding and preoccupied. After several hours of silence, he spoke out. “That women back there was very selfish and rude but, you picked her up on your back and carried her and she didn’t even thank you!”
“I set the women down hours ago,” the older monk replied. “Why are you still carrying her?”
I have not heard that story. Thank you! I needed to. I was with someone this past weekend who was a walking list of grievances. Seemingly every external stimulus was a grievance. Too cold, too windy, too sunny, too tired, headache, stomach ache, neck hurts from a bad pillow, too loud, and on and on and on. Enough to drive me nuts. Yes, I'm aware of the irony that my grievance became their list of grievances. That was 3 days ago. Obviously, still carrying it.
Be the older monk and let it go, Scott, let it go. :-)
Although I don't practice them regularly at the moment, I have found it very useful to memorize and repeat positive affirmations through the day, especially about focusing on gratitude. This definitely helps overcome the tendency to ruminate about petty grievances. I HAVE practiced the Law of Attraction in the past and I can say definitively that it works. You really DO get what you think about and focus on.
The more you are taking up brain space with being thankful, looking for good things, noticing the little blessings and miracles that show up daily in your life in tiny ways, the more of these things you are going to see.
The more you search for Waldo, the easier it is to find him. But are you then looking at the rest of the art and people on the page? What other amazing details are there? But, because you are focused on Waldo you never notice them. Which works both ways.
By searching for Waldo and ignoring the annoying or petty things that crowd our day, we can just find what we are looking for. And by ignoring that "one annoying thing", we can take time to see all the cool, beautiful things that might be surrounding us, but we aren't noticing in our chase/grievance.
What I find especially interesting is how 20 years ago the movie The Secret was all the rage, and The Law of Attraction and an attitude of gratitude was in the public discourse. Now 20 years later, the this appears to all be forgotten and all many people talk about today is grievance. Its a problem.
There are a number of YouTube channels about LoA, Secret, Neville Goddard, Tesla, Manifesting Abundance, Mind Movies, etc. I follow several of them. The gratitude attitude comes and goes in the mainstream, but there are those who hold on tight through it all.
Yes! Victimhood has become so pervasive! Even the military, where it used to just be, "suck it up, pull your boot straps up and get marching!" Is now, "Sorry I spoke harshly to you, and would you mind doing a push up for me?" While the first, certainly has it's problems, the second makes soldiers unfit who are then cruelly sent to a battlefield that doesn't care about their feelings, and put everyone in danger.
Victimhood (learned helplessness) is a dynamic used by abuser/abusee relationships. It is a passive/aggressive escape from responsibility. It is the ultimate trump card of narcissisms. (I am the most important/my problems are the most important). And it completely takes away attention and therefore possible help from those who actually ARE victims of things beyond their ability to deal with.
So, instead of learning resilience, critical thinking, inventiveness and resourcefulness, the broad base of population has learned to be 6.
This reminds me of a fable in John Muth's beautiful children's book Zen Shorts...
"Two traveling Monks arrived upon a town where there was a young woman waiting to step out of her sedan chair. The rains had made deep puddles and she couldn’t step across without spoiling her silken robes. She stood there scolding her attendants, looking very cross and impatient. They had nowhere to place the packages they held for her, so they couldn’t help her across the puddle.
The younger monk noticed the women, said nothing and walked by. The older monk quickly picked her up and put her on his back. He transported her across the water and put her down on the other side. She didn’t thank the older monk. She just shoved him out of the way and departed.
As they continued on their way the young monk was brooding and preoccupied. After several hours of silence, he spoke out. “That women back there was very selfish and rude but, you picked her up on your back and carried her and she didn’t even thank you!”
“I set the women down hours ago,” the older monk replied. “Why are you still carrying her?”
I love that story and I keep meaning to use it in an essay.
I have a story about the story.
Years ago, I would often use it in leadership workshops. A senior leader in a previous cohort entered the room to greet his more junior colleagues.
He wished them well and asked if they had heard the monk story.
The group had not, so the senior leader looked at me quizzically.
"They're a more advanced group than yours, so they don't need to hear it," I joked.
I have not heard that story. Thank you! I needed to. I was with someone this past weekend who was a walking list of grievances. Seemingly every external stimulus was a grievance. Too cold, too windy, too sunny, too tired, headache, stomach ache, neck hurts from a bad pillow, too loud, and on and on and on. Enough to drive me nuts. Yes, I'm aware of the irony that my grievance became their list of grievances. That was 3 days ago. Obviously, still carrying it.
Be the older monk and let it go, Scott, let it go. :-)
I catch myself all the time. And that’s on a good day. 😂
Although I don't practice them regularly at the moment, I have found it very useful to memorize and repeat positive affirmations through the day, especially about focusing on gratitude. This definitely helps overcome the tendency to ruminate about petty grievances. I HAVE practiced the Law of Attraction in the past and I can say definitively that it works. You really DO get what you think about and focus on.
This ^^
The more you are taking up brain space with being thankful, looking for good things, noticing the little blessings and miracles that show up daily in your life in tiny ways, the more of these things you are going to see.
The more you search for Waldo, the easier it is to find him. But are you then looking at the rest of the art and people on the page? What other amazing details are there? But, because you are focused on Waldo you never notice them. Which works both ways.
By searching for Waldo and ignoring the annoying or petty things that crowd our day, we can just find what we are looking for. And by ignoring that "one annoying thing", we can take time to see all the cool, beautiful things that might be surrounding us, but we aren't noticing in our chase/grievance.
What I find especially interesting is how 20 years ago the movie The Secret was all the rage, and The Law of Attraction and an attitude of gratitude was in the public discourse. Now 20 years later, the this appears to all be forgotten and all many people talk about today is grievance. Its a problem.
It's all in where you look...
There are a number of YouTube channels about LoA, Secret, Neville Goddard, Tesla, Manifesting Abundance, Mind Movies, etc. I follow several of them. The gratitude attitude comes and goes in the mainstream, but there are those who hold on tight through it all.
Oh agree, its still out there, I would just to see it larger in the broader culture which is now focused on grievance (i.e. woke).
Yes! Victimhood has become so pervasive! Even the military, where it used to just be, "suck it up, pull your boot straps up and get marching!" Is now, "Sorry I spoke harshly to you, and would you mind doing a push up for me?" While the first, certainly has it's problems, the second makes soldiers unfit who are then cruelly sent to a battlefield that doesn't care about their feelings, and put everyone in danger.
Victimhood (learned helplessness) is a dynamic used by abuser/abusee relationships. It is a passive/aggressive escape from responsibility. It is the ultimate trump card of narcissisms. (I am the most important/my problems are the most important). And it completely takes away attention and therefore possible help from those who actually ARE victims of things beyond their ability to deal with.
So, instead of learning resilience, critical thinking, inventiveness and resourcefulness, the broad base of population has learned to be 6.
Perfect comment.