Civility probably cannot be taught but politeness can be. I see it taught to our grandkids (all < 7 years of age) in the serious private schools they attend. Many/most schools and families don’t “do” politeness any more. This will not end well.
I think of this often and can’t help but consider how the rise of secularism has distorted our priorities. I’m not religious myself, but I’ve craved spirituality in recent years.
Yes and its widespread adoption through an organized religion implies— as your eloquent article alludes— a kind of social order that no government could ever dream of imposing. I believe my (the millennial) generation is particularly enraptured by political idealism. So many don’t even realize their need for a spiritual identity and fill that void with “social justice”.
And so I read another Prof Brownstein column and another "must read!!" book is added to my list! Thanks Prof Brownstein.
The following came to my mind the other day when I was on a train: "Hudson adds, 'The more society relies on self-regulation — and the less it relies on law, coercion, conflict, and litigation — the freer it is.'"
On this train there are "priority seats" - for people with disabilities, elderly, pregnant etc. And recently added, there are now "companion seats" which are seats reserved for people who are helping the people who need "priority seats". And there were signs explaining all this and referencing the relevant laws.
I just thought our society lacks the civility to offer seats to people who need them, so it makes a law. And now, our society lacks the civility to offer seats to people helping people who need seets so we make another law!
Unfortunately, it is true. When I was heavily pregnant and travelling on public transport, I had to ask if anyone would be willing to give up their seat (in part because everyone was staring at their phones). My friends had told me about having this experience and it totally shocked me... and then it was my turn to experience it.
I am regularly shocked on public transport when families get on, and the parents give seats to the kids (not toddlers, but perfectly capable 5+) and stand up themselves. Forget the children being able/willing to offer a seat to someone more in need when their parents have given them the message that they are the priorities.
a real important message Barry! The Steep Price of Declining Civility is paid fer by "us" citizens in what appears ta be a civil war--right now, right here--an' not jus' N vs S as we once saw (orchestrated that one too...) but (from all I gather 'bout NoKings) a full civil war intended ta rip apart the USA inta 1500 pieces... (pee-cees). Yup, be careful what'cha wish fer.... restoration is real hard work.... demolition... easy!
after thought... I like the expression a real "stand up fella" or a true "stand up gal" as it implies civility--not just "polite manners" but sum'buddy that'll have yer back, is reliable, an' when needed.... holds ta their personal sense of "right" to literally stand up... for you... old concept, once so familiar, gone with the bustle! (or more likely gone with the Playtex Girdles our outspoken stand-up gran'ma's once wore lol)
Civility probably cannot be taught but politeness can be. I see it taught to our grandkids (all < 7 years of age) in the serious private schools they attend. Many/most schools and families don’t “do” politeness any more. This will not end well.
You're right, Bart. It won't end well.
Alexandra makes essential distinctions between civility and politeness in her book.
I think of this often and can’t help but consider how the rise of secularism has distorted our priorities. I’m not religious myself, but I’ve craved spirituality in recent years.
Paul, indeed, spiritual pursuits may or may not be accompanied by organized religion.
Yes and its widespread adoption through an organized religion implies— as your eloquent article alludes— a kind of social order that no government could ever dream of imposing. I believe my (the millennial) generation is particularly enraptured by political idealism. So many don’t even realize their need for a spiritual identity and fill that void with “social justice”.
Paul, excellent point about how people fill their spiritual void.
Agree with both of your comments Paul. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
Great review Barry.
And so I read another Prof Brownstein column and another "must read!!" book is added to my list! Thanks Prof Brownstein.
The following came to my mind the other day when I was on a train: "Hudson adds, 'The more society relies on self-regulation — and the less it relies on law, coercion, conflict, and litigation — the freer it is.'"
On this train there are "priority seats" - for people with disabilities, elderly, pregnant etc. And recently added, there are now "companion seats" which are seats reserved for people who are helping the people who need "priority seats". And there were signs explaining all this and referencing the relevant laws.
I just thought our society lacks the civility to offer seats to people who need them, so it makes a law. And now, our society lacks the civility to offer seats to people helping people who need seets so we make another law!
Unfortunately, it is true. When I was heavily pregnant and travelling on public transport, I had to ask if anyone would be willing to give up their seat (in part because everyone was staring at their phones). My friends had told me about having this experience and it totally shocked me... and then it was my turn to experience it.
Thank you for the kind note and terrific example, Kylee.
Your example is right under our noses, since many of us remember when men immediately offered seats to those who needed them.
I also have memories of children doing the same!
Yes, I remember doing that! It was the norm.
Bless you Prof Barry!
I am regularly shocked on public transport when families get on, and the parents give seats to the kids (not toddlers, but perfectly capable 5+) and stand up themselves. Forget the children being able/willing to offer a seat to someone more in need when their parents have given them the message that they are the priorities.
a real important message Barry! The Steep Price of Declining Civility is paid fer by "us" citizens in what appears ta be a civil war--right now, right here--an' not jus' N vs S as we once saw (orchestrated that one too...) but (from all I gather 'bout NoKings) a full civil war intended ta rip apart the USA inta 1500 pieces... (pee-cees). Yup, be careful what'cha wish fer.... restoration is real hard work.... demolition... easy!
after thought... I like the expression a real "stand up fella" or a true "stand up gal" as it implies civility--not just "polite manners" but sum'buddy that'll have yer back, is reliable, an' when needed.... holds ta their personal sense of "right" to literally stand up... for you... old concept, once so familiar, gone with the bustle! (or more likely gone with the Playtex Girdles our outspoken stand-up gran'ma's once wore lol)
Thank you, Daisy. I'm very alarmed, too.