Congrats on accepting stuttering. I too, have many obstacles in my life but accept them as a learning experience…Human life, C.S. Lewis quoted ‘was always filled with distractions, alarms, panics, and tragedy. That is not what makes it remarkable. What makes life remarkable is that we get on with what we have to do in spite of these things’.
Excellent work- thank you Barry! Although I currently struggle with the biggest challenge of my life, and I believe I am the most blessed human on the planet; I needed to hear this!
I really appreciate what you've shared about stuttering. I have similarly had struggles with public speaking, which is partly why I'm inclined to write. But over the years, I've been working on overcoming my fear of speaking up. Part of that cultivation has been observing with compassion the shaky voices of others whose voices I have come to know as courageous. I now find that heartfelt messages, however delivered, have strong resonance for me. This has made it easier to accept and ultimately embrace my performance anxiety. I still feel it all the time, but have "made friends" with this part of me. My voice still shakes, and I still stumble on my words sometimes, but I am more focused on using opportunities to grow. It has also enabled me to notice with admiration all of the people who "just show up", imperfections, challenges and all.
Ann, Thank you for sharing your beautifully essay and very wise practice. By seeing others with compassion, you are extending the best part of you as opposed to projecting the worst. What a great idea!
well put Barry! in most cases it's true -- an' my entire fambly "ascribed' ta the school of hard knocks as they called it. But I will say that tho' some relatively good-sized adversities thrown in the paths of many made'em mightier or better or more patient in the long run--some are a bridge too far... often when the "gubbamint" is involved or "big pharma" I'm sad ta say. In my case I kin speak to havin' a now-adult daughter with high-functionin' but autism with all the bells & whistles that come with the dx (we lived near ground zero when I was pregnant...) Lordy I wouldn't wish our situation on my worst enemy (an' we avoid all meds so adult tantrums 'r us is still the norm) -- tho' I don't dwell in the complaint department an' just do my "keep calm, carry on" thang. It's a long story fraught with way too many battles fer our fambly an' fer our younger daughter too--an' such things never used ta even exist (not when I wuz a kiddo anywayz). So some slings an' arrows are a little much fer some've us parents that wanna slug anybuddy that insists autism is a "gift" or a "superpower" or a blessin'. THAT is full'a u know what. Also I kin think of my granny bein' taken out by Vioxx, my favorite great uncle's heart attack at 70 bein' dismissed as indigestion when he called his dok-turd at midnight--so the poor guy died that very evenin' by followin' dok-turds orders ta take some pepto bismal an' go back ta bed. Many like that in our fambly.... But yes, we humans kin survive a LOT if (IF!) we're bred ta be resilient, self-sufficient, tough--a lotta stuff they're "out-breedin'" from these newfangled snowflakes that cain't even take a joke an' seem ta be bowled over by "micro aggressions." (egads an' oy)
All that said, bravo Berry fer findin' a helpful way ta manage yer stutterin' challenge! I would've recommended acting! (bein' in the profess-in' myself!) as few know that quite a lotta great performers had stutterin' issues they overcame by performin' in public--James Earl Jones of the stentorian voice!, Marilyn Monroe too ! (an' she wuz a velly fine actor--folks didn't give 'er credit but she worked hard at it an' was far more accomplished than some give 'er credit fer...)
Anywayz, yer right that all SLPs ain't the same--when I wuz a little nipper I couldn't say my "ours" (like babawawa) an' the in skool speech therapy wuz a nightmare--2 years'a missin' art class (a favorite subject) cuz speech took place during "art time" -- an' bein' tormented both in "speech" class by a purdy mean old bat that made me repeat absurdities about the "rabid rooster runnin'" ad nauseum--an' gettin' bullied whut besides by both the art teacher (long story) AND the other kids who mocked us speech kids fer the way we talked in the day where such mockery was taken "in stride" an' not discouraged by teachers. Contrast this to my younger daughter--same EXACT issue but instead of lettin' a skool address it (startin' at age 8 as it wuz with me)--I addressed the same challenge when my dear girl was just 5 (an' homeschooled); I found a fabulous SLP -- a mensch who did slidin' scale as otherwise unaffordable-- who "fixed" the issue in literally 2.5 months of once weekly visits. Private sessions an' FUN--my little one actually enjoyed goin' (imagine?!). HUGE diff it made too--DD speaks poifectly now (acts, sings, etc) an' never got bullied even once fer how she once talked!
Now...as fer yer Israeli SLP that reaches out to Arabs an' Chews alike--bless'er many times over an'--what yer sayin' is timely given the recent Guernica debacle wherein a whole bunch of wokesturds QUIT the longtime well-regarded literary mag b/c Guernica published (later retracted) an essay written by a Jewish mom who helped Palestinian kids git urgent medical care / surgery in Israel--an' did so EVEN after 10/7 at risk ta her own health an' life! This "narrative" contradicted the more popular bad-chew-worse-Israeli-chew narrative so it got struck, deleted, retracted... SAD this happened--let alone the absurd reaction-- as it's a beautiful essay... It exists on archive so I'll share it...
Congrats on accepting stuttering. I too, have many obstacles in my life but accept them as a learning experience…Human life, C.S. Lewis quoted ‘was always filled with distractions, alarms, panics, and tragedy. That is not what makes it remarkable. What makes life remarkable is that we get on with what we have to do in spite of these things’.
Thanks, Mike.
What an evocative Lewis quote!
Excellent work- thank you Barry! Although I currently struggle with the biggest challenge of my life, and I believe I am the most blessed human on the planet; I needed to hear this!
Thank you, Chris. All blessings to you as you work through your challenge.
Thank you for this. I'd like to share what came to me with regards to adversity here https://open.substack.com/pub/anntomokorosen/p/adversity-cultivates
I really appreciate what you've shared about stuttering. I have similarly had struggles with public speaking, which is partly why I'm inclined to write. But over the years, I've been working on overcoming my fear of speaking up. Part of that cultivation has been observing with compassion the shaky voices of others whose voices I have come to know as courageous. I now find that heartfelt messages, however delivered, have strong resonance for me. This has made it easier to accept and ultimately embrace my performance anxiety. I still feel it all the time, but have "made friends" with this part of me. My voice still shakes, and I still stumble on my words sometimes, but I am more focused on using opportunities to grow. It has also enabled me to notice with admiration all of the people who "just show up", imperfections, challenges and all.
Ann, Thank you for sharing your beautifully essay and very wise practice. By seeing others with compassion, you are extending the best part of you as opposed to projecting the worst. What a great idea!
well put Barry! in most cases it's true -- an' my entire fambly "ascribed' ta the school of hard knocks as they called it. But I will say that tho' some relatively good-sized adversities thrown in the paths of many made'em mightier or better or more patient in the long run--some are a bridge too far... often when the "gubbamint" is involved or "big pharma" I'm sad ta say. In my case I kin speak to havin' a now-adult daughter with high-functionin' but autism with all the bells & whistles that come with the dx (we lived near ground zero when I was pregnant...) Lordy I wouldn't wish our situation on my worst enemy (an' we avoid all meds so adult tantrums 'r us is still the norm) -- tho' I don't dwell in the complaint department an' just do my "keep calm, carry on" thang. It's a long story fraught with way too many battles fer our fambly an' fer our younger daughter too--an' such things never used ta even exist (not when I wuz a kiddo anywayz). So some slings an' arrows are a little much fer some've us parents that wanna slug anybuddy that insists autism is a "gift" or a "superpower" or a blessin'. THAT is full'a u know what. Also I kin think of my granny bein' taken out by Vioxx, my favorite great uncle's heart attack at 70 bein' dismissed as indigestion when he called his dok-turd at midnight--so the poor guy died that very evenin' by followin' dok-turds orders ta take some pepto bismal an' go back ta bed. Many like that in our fambly.... But yes, we humans kin survive a LOT if (IF!) we're bred ta be resilient, self-sufficient, tough--a lotta stuff they're "out-breedin'" from these newfangled snowflakes that cain't even take a joke an' seem ta be bowled over by "micro aggressions." (egads an' oy)
All that said, bravo Berry fer findin' a helpful way ta manage yer stutterin' challenge! I would've recommended acting! (bein' in the profess-in' myself!) as few know that quite a lotta great performers had stutterin' issues they overcame by performin' in public--James Earl Jones of the stentorian voice!, Marilyn Monroe too ! (an' she wuz a velly fine actor--folks didn't give 'er credit but she worked hard at it an' was far more accomplished than some give 'er credit fer...)
Anywayz, yer right that all SLPs ain't the same--when I wuz a little nipper I couldn't say my "ours" (like babawawa) an' the in skool speech therapy wuz a nightmare--2 years'a missin' art class (a favorite subject) cuz speech took place during "art time" -- an' bein' tormented both in "speech" class by a purdy mean old bat that made me repeat absurdities about the "rabid rooster runnin'" ad nauseum--an' gettin' bullied whut besides by both the art teacher (long story) AND the other kids who mocked us speech kids fer the way we talked in the day where such mockery was taken "in stride" an' not discouraged by teachers. Contrast this to my younger daughter--same EXACT issue but instead of lettin' a skool address it (startin' at age 8 as it wuz with me)--I addressed the same challenge when my dear girl was just 5 (an' homeschooled); I found a fabulous SLP -- a mensch who did slidin' scale as otherwise unaffordable-- who "fixed" the issue in literally 2.5 months of once weekly visits. Private sessions an' FUN--my little one actually enjoyed goin' (imagine?!). HUGE diff it made too--DD speaks poifectly now (acts, sings, etc) an' never got bullied even once fer how she once talked!
Now...as fer yer Israeli SLP that reaches out to Arabs an' Chews alike--bless'er many times over an'--what yer sayin' is timely given the recent Guernica debacle wherein a whole bunch of wokesturds QUIT the longtime well-regarded literary mag b/c Guernica published (later retracted) an essay written by a Jewish mom who helped Palestinian kids git urgent medical care / surgery in Israel--an' did so EVEN after 10/7 at risk ta her own health an' life! This "narrative" contradicted the more popular bad-chew-worse-Israeli-chew narrative so it got struck, deleted, retracted... SAD this happened--let alone the absurd reaction-- as it's a beautiful essay... It exists on archive so I'll share it...
the debacle:
https://www.nytimes.com/2024/03/12/arts/guernica-magazine-staff-quits-israel.html
the story:
https://web.archive.org/web/20240305095742/https://www.guernicamag.com/from-the-edges-of-a-broken-world/
Thanks for sharing all this, Daisy. Your wisdom comes from so much experience. Your daughter is fortunate to have your love.
Yes, a beautiful essay. Sad to hear the haters retracted it.