As I read it I can't help but think of my recent sentimental experiences. But before I mention any of that I think it is important to point out what we consider a person with a definite purpose, that gives meaning to his life. The mass, as you mention, usually does this through destructive leaders, and we see it everywhere, politics, science, religion, or any other area, I remember a quote from Liz Greene “there is no ego bigger than that of the disciple”. We think that whoever is in the rat race does it by meaning, and it is not so. Many people have a clear purpose, or have found meaning in their lives, but it may not have the expression that we would expect, it may not even be put into action, and they end up entangled in games of power and self-worth such as what I will describe below:
I have said it in articles and notes, perhaps in the form of pusillanimous whining, but the thing is profound and portrays a reality that many do not want to see. I am part of that group of women, not feminist, but traditional, who never had the opportunity to have a marriage. Many times I have met men who are fine in their material affairs, but not so much on a moral and emotional level. I am very clear about what I want: I want to be a traditional wife, to get married, to serve my husband, to live dedicated to the home. Anyway, sometimes I have had a job and sometimes not, I have no degree or career, I live by practicing trades, but in both cases, I always end up prey to coercive control, facing lack of commitment, the silent treatment, that is, always keeping me adrift, having to be careful of every word or action because I am always under threat of being alone, and I am alone. They go off with other “perfect” women, they marry them and so on.
I have noticed that when these men meet me they always carry a similar dynamic, problems with an ex and a sick mother, with lives empty of any purpose or meaning, at least temporarily. It happens that I have the Moon in Cancer in a very afflicted configuration (well, sorry, I am an astrologer and I study Jungian psychology) the point is that irremediably I attract them, and I end up very damaged. Today I am in the worst possible situation. But reading this tells me that there are people who know what is going on in general, and in particular, whatever the sphere. Thanks for the essay.
I'll add my story. When my children were 3 years old, my wife said I want to stay home with them. She was a tenured professor and 100% of those who offered opinions thought we were nuts.
Here is the thing. There were no negotiations or tedious what if conversations. There was a strong felt sense of her decision being right for the family. We got by on one income until she decided to go back to work when the children entered high school (after being homeschooled).
We have never had a tinge of regret or second guessing.
We never put a label on our marriage but I guess it would now be called trad.
Our life emerged from ongoing decisions to choose Love but was never planned.
That is the secret, first to have a true partnership, and second to work as a team. I feel the need to use labels to define what I want, because in this world such identification seems necessary. For me, being a wife is having as a priority the care of my husband and my home, but that does not mean that I cannot have a job, perhaps from home, to support him, however I have been called a "spirit of parasit", and worse things. In my relationships there has always been a very strong imbalance of power, even when I have had a job, always very simple. My only aspiration in life has been to be a team with someone to build something solid, although modest. Thank you for this interaction, people who are very lonely as me really appreciate these brief conversations, make us feel we exist.
In the summer of 1965, at an informal day seminar in a Reed College room, I listened to the opposite of this article. It was a discussion of "Critical Theory", from which much of graduate and undergraduate, and even High School teaching, is derived. Its basis was repeated again and again by the old German fellow giving the seminar:
"*All* human relationships are based on the relative power of the individuals and groups involved."
I tried to give it credit, at the age of 14, but it was far too much like what someone had tried to use to justify an attempt to kill me, 3 years earlier. Within 3 months, I settled on it being an attempt to normalize sociopathy. It is, by now at the core of much non-STEM teaching in university, in "critical legal studies" and in "critical race theory". Worse, it is working its way into "guiding" STEM applications.
I find your article one of the few excellent anodynes to such sociopathic advocacy.
Barry, perhaps my favorite quote of C. S. Lewis came immediately to mind when I read the title to this essay. It is my favorite not just because of how absolutely true it is, but for how much we saw it come to life during the entire response to Covid. So, without further adieu...
"Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It would be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience." C. S. Lewis
This is exactly the way I've viewed Tech Titans of Google, Facebook, and the former Twitter team. They've grown incomprehensibly wealthy that limitless self-indulgence choices leaves them empty, unfilled.
Thinking big, they use their platforms ''to save the planet', using censorship and promotion of select information to manipulate the unenlightened, even if detrimental to them. In fact, that's a given conclusion. I has to be, 'the planet' comes first.
Compare to the energetic Musk, current owner of X-Twitter, who loathes censorship and simultaneously involved with companies he founded or bought.. (X, Space-X, Tesla, Starlink and several other lesser known developing ventures)
Musk, the richest of all, seems to find fulfillment in creation of tangible industries for the benefit of human existence, not to manipulate it or make it worse off.
I have been thinking along the same path recently, that people in positions of authority do not want to be mere administrators. They're not trying to keep the wheels of civilization turning. They're getting their followers whipped up to fight an enemy. The causes to fight over are interchangeable. It's the fight itself that matters.
Excellent piece. For me, the best modern exposition of such views is Eric Hoffer’s THE TRUE BELIEVER. I wrote about this in “Intellectual Tyrants Beget True Believers.” The piece has a number of choice quotes. Among the best were: “A man is likely to mind his own business when it is worth minding. When it is not, he takes his mind off his own meaningless affairs by minding other people’s business.” and “There is perhaps no more reliable indicator of a society’s ripeness for a mass movement than the prevalence of unrelieved boredom. In almost all the descriptions of the periods preceding the rise of mass movements there is reference to vast ennui; and in their earliest stages mass movements are more likely to find sympathizers and support among the bored than among the exploited and oppressed.”
Thanks very enjoyable. Re Pascal words alternative to “meaning” which I’ve found helpful are peace and joy- the words traditional to Christianity and the object of his writings.
Carl, That is a heck of a sobering essay and certainly one possible future. We should heed the warning.
Yet, I think there are other futures and the "bad guys" are going to lose this round. Why? I'm an economist and I think on the margin. On the margin, enough people are waking from their slumber.
My wife of 14yrs plus 8yrs of being together before marriage ended about 8yrs ago. I was devastated. I had done pretty much everything right as far as a Dad and Husband but she one day tells me 'im not happy' and that was the end. Disgusted me. Devasted me. We had a great life going. Both had/have good jobs, financially secure, nice house nice neighborhood, friends, family. But apparently I did not make her 'happy' any longer. If I did not give undivided attention when she was talking I was scorned. I also had days off during the week due to my rotating schedule, so that angered her too because I had too much fun by myself on those days (mostly just biking when kids were in school). Anyways, she tells be I was/am the greatest dad etc... I never cheated (never have cheated ever on any gal I have ever been with), I was/am greatly involved in my kids education, sports, life. Volunteered as a coach and at their school. But-it-was-not-good-enough, because she got the sads. Ugh. We are amicable today but this event of divorce really shocked me and devasted me. 8yrs past I am doing well but still... it should have never happened. I can put some of the blame on me, but she was too narcissistic and I did not want to travel as much as her etc.. lots of things, but I still cannot figure it out. Our love-life was also very good, she even said so. (throws up arms...i just dunno). Not sure this totally relates to the story here, but I think it relates in that she wanted too much power over me. I was more happy than her apparently and that just could not stand. I am sorry for this, really am. We were pretty happy most of our lives together. She was/is 10yrs younger than me though and she felt she 'never got a chance to live and explore' because I was 28 and she was 18 when we met. We made it about 20yrs plus together still. I do miss those days.
thoughtful after reading this and particularly this section...
Some “seek external diversion and occupation, and this is the result of their constant sense of wretchedness.” For them, “rest proves intolerable because of the boredom it produces. [They] must get away from it and crave excitement.”
Let that sink in. A person able to exercise coercive power can use their morally undeveloped “wretched” mind to create endless misery for others merely because exercising power distracts them from their failures as human beings.
this shows Humanity and our future can only come from a massive evolution in consciousness .
This is a beautiful essay. "In a virtuous cycle, with meaningful lives, there is no demand for leaders who impose their will on the public." Very, very true. Thank you for sharing!
I'm sure Frankl would have predicted the fatal consequences of calling entire classes of work "non-essential" and paying its practitioners to stay home. Something that rankles me to this day, though I was retired at the time, and in any case would probably not have been subject to those orders.
> Some of my more ahistorical students were incredulous at Ridley’s description of the grinding poverty of the average person just a few centuries ago.
The rest were probably too credulous, and have never been to a place where people just recently (like fathers and grandfathers) lived like "a few centuries ago", to see that the comparison is bogus.
Thank you Barry for another powerful article. Your kindness, understanding, wisdom and common sense is clear within that power. John
Thank you, John. Your generous words are very meaningful to me.
Great essay.
As I read it I can't help but think of my recent sentimental experiences. But before I mention any of that I think it is important to point out what we consider a person with a definite purpose, that gives meaning to his life. The mass, as you mention, usually does this through destructive leaders, and we see it everywhere, politics, science, religion, or any other area, I remember a quote from Liz Greene “there is no ego bigger than that of the disciple”. We think that whoever is in the rat race does it by meaning, and it is not so. Many people have a clear purpose, or have found meaning in their lives, but it may not have the expression that we would expect, it may not even be put into action, and they end up entangled in games of power and self-worth such as what I will describe below:
I have said it in articles and notes, perhaps in the form of pusillanimous whining, but the thing is profound and portrays a reality that many do not want to see. I am part of that group of women, not feminist, but traditional, who never had the opportunity to have a marriage. Many times I have met men who are fine in their material affairs, but not so much on a moral and emotional level. I am very clear about what I want: I want to be a traditional wife, to get married, to serve my husband, to live dedicated to the home. Anyway, sometimes I have had a job and sometimes not, I have no degree or career, I live by practicing trades, but in both cases, I always end up prey to coercive control, facing lack of commitment, the silent treatment, that is, always keeping me adrift, having to be careful of every word or action because I am always under threat of being alone, and I am alone. They go off with other “perfect” women, they marry them and so on.
I have noticed that when these men meet me they always carry a similar dynamic, problems with an ex and a sick mother, with lives empty of any purpose or meaning, at least temporarily. It happens that I have the Moon in Cancer in a very afflicted configuration (well, sorry, I am an astrologer and I study Jungian psychology) the point is that irremediably I attract them, and I end up very damaged. Today I am in the worst possible situation. But reading this tells me that there are people who know what is going on in general, and in particular, whatever the sphere. Thanks for the essay.
Thank you and wow! I am deeply moved by your wisdom and undefended heartfelt testimony.
The Liz Greene quote is new to me. So insightful.
I'll just say this. Your past no longer has to be a prologue. And when you are ready a seeming miracle can happen. I wish you all the best
"All your past except its beauty is gone, and nothing is left but a blessing."--A Course in Miracles
I'll add my story. When my children were 3 years old, my wife said I want to stay home with them. She was a tenured professor and 100% of those who offered opinions thought we were nuts.
Here is the thing. There were no negotiations or tedious what if conversations. There was a strong felt sense of her decision being right for the family. We got by on one income until she decided to go back to work when the children entered high school (after being homeschooled).
We have never had a tinge of regret or second guessing.
We never put a label on our marriage but I guess it would now be called trad.
Our life emerged from ongoing decisions to choose Love but was never planned.
That is the secret, first to have a true partnership, and second to work as a team. I feel the need to use labels to define what I want, because in this world such identification seems necessary. For me, being a wife is having as a priority the care of my husband and my home, but that does not mean that I cannot have a job, perhaps from home, to support him, however I have been called a "spirit of parasit", and worse things. In my relationships there has always been a very strong imbalance of power, even when I have had a job, always very simple. My only aspiration in life has been to be a team with someone to build something solid, although modest. Thank you for this interaction, people who are very lonely as me really appreciate these brief conversations, make us feel we exist.
No matter if we are lonely or not, genuine communication is always enriching. So, thank you.
I do wish you grace on your path. Unexpected goodness can happen at any time.
Thank you for the likes to my comment. I'm sorry to do this but I will appreciate if you can share this post of mine. Thank you. https://open.substack.com/pub/norsan/p/i-am-looking-for-a-job-that-gives?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=2oxwnv
In the summer of 1965, at an informal day seminar in a Reed College room, I listened to the opposite of this article. It was a discussion of "Critical Theory", from which much of graduate and undergraduate, and even High School teaching, is derived. Its basis was repeated again and again by the old German fellow giving the seminar:
"*All* human relationships are based on the relative power of the individuals and groups involved."
I tried to give it credit, at the age of 14, but it was far too much like what someone had tried to use to justify an attempt to kill me, 3 years earlier. Within 3 months, I settled on it being an attempt to normalize sociopathy. It is, by now at the core of much non-STEM teaching in university, in "critical legal studies" and in "critical race theory". Worse, it is working its way into "guiding" STEM applications.
I find your article one of the few excellent anodynes to such sociopathic advocacy.
Absolutely!! This article is a brilliant antidote to that lunacy!
Thank you, Tom.
in 1965, few could have seen what was coming, yet as you write the insanity was already out there.
As it became more visible, most people stood down and now here we are.
My mantra is, "Boring is good." I've had excitement. It is greatly overrated. Better to spend your energies improving yourself.
Wise advice, Hugh. Thank you.
Barry, perhaps my favorite quote of C. S. Lewis came immediately to mind when I read the title to this essay. It is my favorite not just because of how absolutely true it is, but for how much we saw it come to life during the entire response to Covid. So, without further adieu...
"Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It would be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience." C. S. Lewis
Thanks, Mark.
Indeed, that is a great quote.
This is exactly the way I've viewed Tech Titans of Google, Facebook, and the former Twitter team. They've grown incomprehensibly wealthy that limitless self-indulgence choices leaves them empty, unfilled.
Thinking big, they use their platforms ''to save the planet', using censorship and promotion of select information to manipulate the unenlightened, even if detrimental to them. In fact, that's a given conclusion. I has to be, 'the planet' comes first.
Compare to the energetic Musk, current owner of X-Twitter, who loathes censorship and simultaneously involved with companies he founded or bought.. (X, Space-X, Tesla, Starlink and several other lesser known developing ventures)
Musk, the richest of all, seems to find fulfillment in creation of tangible industries for the benefit of human existence, not to manipulate it or make it worse off.
I have been thinking along the same path recently, that people in positions of authority do not want to be mere administrators. They're not trying to keep the wheels of civilization turning. They're getting their followers whipped up to fight an enemy. The causes to fight over are interchangeable. It's the fight itself that matters.
Thanks for adding your insights, Gregor.
Excellent piece. For me, the best modern exposition of such views is Eric Hoffer’s THE TRUE BELIEVER. I wrote about this in “Intellectual Tyrants Beget True Believers.” The piece has a number of choice quotes. Among the best were: “A man is likely to mind his own business when it is worth minding. When it is not, he takes his mind off his own meaningless affairs by minding other people’s business.” and “There is perhaps no more reliable indicator of a society’s ripeness for a mass movement than the prevalence of unrelieved boredom. In almost all the descriptions of the periods preceding the rise of mass movements there is reference to vast ennui; and in their earliest stages mass movements are more likely to find sympathizers and support among the bored than among the exploited and oppressed.”
(https://graboyes.substack.com/p/intellectual-tyrants-beget-true-believers)
Thank you, Robert. I appreciate your kind note and work.
I agree. Hoffer's seminal book has made many appearances in my FEE and AIER essays.
Interesting though, I don't think I have ever used the evocative quote you shared on boredom.
That Hoffer quote would have worked quite well in this essay: https://mindsetshifts.substack.com/p/why-ordinary-people-enable-totalitarians
Thanks very enjoyable. Re Pascal words alternative to “meaning” which I’ve found helpful are peace and joy- the words traditional to Christianity and the object of his writings.
“It is not enough to succeed; others must fail” — Gore Vidal allegedly (though likely apocryphal).
"A person able to exercise coercive power can use their morally undeveloped “wretched” mind to create endless misery for others."
They’ve Selected Kamala Harris and This Is Their Plan:
https://www.lewrockwell.com/2024/08/jim-quinn/theyve-selected-kamala-and-this-is-their-plan/
Carl, That is a heck of a sobering essay and certainly one possible future. We should heed the warning.
Yet, I think there are other futures and the "bad guys" are going to lose this round. Why? I'm an economist and I think on the margin. On the margin, enough people are waking from their slumber.
My wife of 14yrs plus 8yrs of being together before marriage ended about 8yrs ago. I was devastated. I had done pretty much everything right as far as a Dad and Husband but she one day tells me 'im not happy' and that was the end. Disgusted me. Devasted me. We had a great life going. Both had/have good jobs, financially secure, nice house nice neighborhood, friends, family. But apparently I did not make her 'happy' any longer. If I did not give undivided attention when she was talking I was scorned. I also had days off during the week due to my rotating schedule, so that angered her too because I had too much fun by myself on those days (mostly just biking when kids were in school). Anyways, she tells be I was/am the greatest dad etc... I never cheated (never have cheated ever on any gal I have ever been with), I was/am greatly involved in my kids education, sports, life. Volunteered as a coach and at their school. But-it-was-not-good-enough, because she got the sads. Ugh. We are amicable today but this event of divorce really shocked me and devasted me. 8yrs past I am doing well but still... it should have never happened. I can put some of the blame on me, but she was too narcissistic and I did not want to travel as much as her etc.. lots of things, but I still cannot figure it out. Our love-life was also very good, she even said so. (throws up arms...i just dunno). Not sure this totally relates to the story here, but I think it relates in that she wanted too much power over me. I was more happy than her apparently and that just could not stand. I am sorry for this, really am. We were pretty happy most of our lives together. She was/is 10yrs younger than me though and she felt she 'never got a chance to live and explore' because I was 28 and she was 18 when we met. We made it about 20yrs plus together still. I do miss those days.
Tom, I am very sorry to read your story.
You may have shared because you want to again experience the deep meaning you felt. You miss those days but still better days may be ahead.
As your painful feelings and discomfort arises, try merely sitting with them.
Don't try and soothe yourself by reaching for the phone etc.
Don't rationalize your feelings away.
Accept that you may never understand.
Don't blame yourself or your wife. (that doesn't mean there isn't anything to learn)
Keep repeating the above.
I wish you the best and hope this is helpful.
thoughtful after reading this and particularly this section...
Some “seek external diversion and occupation, and this is the result of their constant sense of wretchedness.” For them, “rest proves intolerable because of the boredom it produces. [They] must get away from it and crave excitement.”
Let that sink in. A person able to exercise coercive power can use their morally undeveloped “wretched” mind to create endless misery for others merely because exercising power distracts them from their failures as human beings.
this shows Humanity and our future can only come from a massive evolution in consciousness .
And that shift can only happen one person at a time. Yet, our own spiritual work affects others.
This is a beautiful essay. "In a virtuous cycle, with meaningful lives, there is no demand for leaders who impose their will on the public." Very, very true. Thank you for sharing!
Esaite, Thank you. I appreciate your kind note.
I'm sure Frankl would have predicted the fatal consequences of calling entire classes of work "non-essential" and paying its practitioners to stay home. Something that rankles me to this day, though I was retired at the time, and in any case would probably not have been subject to those orders.
For sure. Such damaging madness.
> Some of my more ahistorical students were incredulous at Ridley’s description of the grinding poverty of the average person just a few centuries ago.
The rest were probably too credulous, and have never been to a place where people just recently (like fathers and grandfathers) lived like "a few centuries ago", to see that the comparison is bogus.