So, I am aging. I exercise at my physical limits 5 days per week for 30 minutes.
Every year my fitness deteriorates slightly. It is always unpleasant.
I have made an agreement with myself that I can skip the exercises any day as long as I do not make the decision on THE DAY of the exercise. If I am sick or injured, I can opt out of tomorrow's exercise, but never today.
By committing to make the decision before the effort is imminent it keeps me from the "I just don't feel like it" trap.
There will come a day when I can no longer keep it up, but not today.
I'd like to echo this comment, as well. Emotions aren't everything, but they aren't nothing, either. Once you realize that emotions can be a distraction or a message of subconscious/intuition/God, the challenge becomes trying to discern when to pay attention and when to disregard them. I'd love to hear some of your wisdom on that process of discernment. Thank you for the thought-provoking article!
Brilliant question that we all face everyday. Here is my short take.
The ego mostly speaks first with the aim of defending our self-concept by finding external causes for our distress.
Yet, we can't, as you say, disregard all emotions since some do come from Spirit/Wholeness/God.
In practice it is often difficult to discern since the ego will often use spiritual language. So discernment is clumsy and tricky and we do the best we can.
We notice if the emotion and thoughts attacks others or generates peace.
And what makes it all trickier, is that none of this maps to behavior. You can be firm or soft with a loving mind or firm or soft with your ego as a guide.
The only reservation I have from this column is that it's also easy to ignore feelings when we really should be listening to them. For example, "I should marry so-and-so," pushing back signals that hint it's likely to be a disaster. Perhaps Reynolds' "You just need to notice them and go on with your life" is not meant to exclude this aspect, but it does seem quite dismissive. Maybe it would be better to say, "You just need to notice them, evaluate them, and ignore the ones that point your life in the wrong direction."?
JdL, Yes, indeed. Reynolds is pointing to the dangers of rumination and the importance of action, but there is a bigger picture too. As our mind stills, we access that greater awareness.
I wish I had a one size fits all answer. We only partially understand the mind-body connection, yet there is one. Respecting that connection leads to the the answer I would give today without negating the difficult experience anyone has. There are actions we take that dig our holes deeper that we want to avoid:
1. Avoid processed foods, white flour, sugar, refined vegetable oils etc.
2. Move the body. Start small and build. With medical advice, if necessary, raise the heart rate daily by climbing a hill.
I wasn't really asking for answers, but thank you anyway. I am really asking if you recognise that this common sense advice is only useful to those who are too wrapped up in their heads rather than for people with anything more serious to deal with. It's interesting that most of your recomendations to get people out of themselves involves reading. I would highly recommend doing less passive things, in both senses of the word. Arts and crafts, or hobbies, yoga or Tai chi, or wild swimming would all have benefits above and beyond reading.
Yes, 100%. You have offered wonderful advice and advice that David Reynolds would wholeheartedly endorse.
And yes, when we are too wrapped in our heads, it is hard to begin.
Is it useful for those with more serious issues? Again, one size doesn't fit all. I think, though, that we are all moving back and forth between levels of healing and there is a certain universality to perennial advice.
Even the most healthy among us will notice that the hardest part of any task is almost always starting. I wonder why inertia is that way? I can't imagine any obvious evolutionary or social benefit to it, unless it acts as a guard against us being permanently gung-ho?
My odd thought: Gravity. (yes partly tongue in cheek)
But, if it wasn't for gravity tethering us to the earth, we would be flung starward. So, it keeps us in our "sphere" of safety - the place where life not only is possible, but abounds. It is our safety belt. But, like a clumsy safely belt, it can cause a lot of issues, as well. Such as hammering us to the earth (and possibly breaking things) when we fall.
So, to react against gravity to accomplish anything, you have to expend effort/energy, like rocketfire thrusting the rocket into space, the jet engine propelling the plane into the skies where birds soar. And the more you want to do, the more energy it's going to take. So in the physical realm, the less energy you have (age, illness, already expended, hungry, etc) the less energy your engine can produce, and you get a Wright Brothers glide instead of actual lift-off.
It is said that the brain is also a muscle, and needs even more energy to function properly. So, it, by nature of being physical, as well, encounters the same problem - gravity. Even chemical process are effected by gravity, and much of the brain activity is chemical. So, again, low energy, low accomplishment. The brain never rests, even on "idle" it's still directs the myriad of para-sympathetic process in our bodies. So, with gunk in the fuel lines, the filters clogged, and inferior fuel...we are grounded. Prisoners of gravity, in our thoughts, our actions, our lives.
Evolutionary? It just hasn't caught up with us. Ever notice that "X" Starts slowing production after 30, and "Y" starts breaking down after 40 and "Z" isn't produced in any significant way after 50? We weren't meant to live that long. Fertility general peaking around 20-25, so you still have health to raise the next generation up. Living long enough for some folks to pass on the information and traditions to the next set. That was evolution, and that was the reality for thousands of years. Our living long past that is a relatively new phenomenon with the advent of hygiene, technology/machinery to aid in daily chores, and medical knowledge to extend life. So, Evolution hasn't caught up to that yet.
I like some of this even though it's a little tongue in cheek. I have to say though, this idea that we used to die young is a common misapprehension. many lived to a ripe old age as hunter gatherers, (and through much of civilisation but not as healthily so). What skews the average is infant mortality. If you got to your teens you had a very good chance of a full life.
Or Fibromyalgia or chronic migraines or other chronic pain.
I think there are times, when it's not just "in your head" and while you can forge on through the pain and fog, and keep taking those "steps in the dark", it doesn't just "go away after 5 minutes", would that it were so. Instead you have the disappointment that you did everything you could, did all the "right" things, diet, exercise, mindfulness, eft, immunics, meditation, affirmations, wholistic modalities, and you still feel like crap. It's still a daily fight, it's still exhausting, and your spoon draw just keeps getting emptier and emptier...
Tiffanie, Absolutely. The human experience is messy and heartbreaking at times. And despite our best practices things may not go right. We forgive ourselves, forgive others and know that one day, with grace, the clouds will part.
All I can add to that as a fellow sufferer of chronic illness is- I hear you. Oh, and try not to be disappointed; one of the things I have found helps is acceptance. Although the mental balancing act between acceptance and the anger of the dying of the light as motivations is endless.
I would propose that being in touch with personal values are the missing link for many people. At 65 years of age, I know exceedingly few people who have a consciousness of what they value and why. Your part three discusses the non-studying student. Studying for me connects me to my value of "learning;" exercise connects me to my value of "good health," and "connection" with like minded fitness types; travel can connect me with my value of "curiosity;" being served at a restaurant by a very good waitress can connect me with my value of "generosity," and I may leave a better-than-typical tip, and so on. Consequently, exercising takes no discipline at all; I naturally do it because I place such a high value on good health. It takes a bit of effort to begin to look at life from the perspective of values, but it has changed my world over the last decade. Ya see, I didn't use to look at life that way either!
So, I am aging. I exercise at my physical limits 5 days per week for 30 minutes.
Every year my fitness deteriorates slightly. It is always unpleasant.
I have made an agreement with myself that I can skip the exercises any day as long as I do not make the decision on THE DAY of the exercise. If I am sick or injured, I can opt out of tomorrow's exercise, but never today.
By committing to make the decision before the effort is imminent it keeps me from the "I just don't feel like it" trap.
There will come a day when I can no longer keep it up, but not today.
100%. Like brushing our teeth, we must commit to what keep us for now.
I'd like to echo this comment, as well. Emotions aren't everything, but they aren't nothing, either. Once you realize that emotions can be a distraction or a message of subconscious/intuition/God, the challenge becomes trying to discern when to pay attention and when to disregard them. I'd love to hear some of your wisdom on that process of discernment. Thank you for the thought-provoking article!
Thanks, Rob.
Brilliant question that we all face everyday. Here is my short take.
The ego mostly speaks first with the aim of defending our self-concept by finding external causes for our distress.
Yet, we can't, as you say, disregard all emotions since some do come from Spirit/Wholeness/God.
In practice it is often difficult to discern since the ego will often use spiritual language. So discernment is clumsy and tricky and we do the best we can.
We notice if the emotion and thoughts attacks others or generates peace.
And what makes it all trickier, is that none of this maps to behavior. You can be firm or soft with a loving mind or firm or soft with your ego as a guide.
The only reservation I have from this column is that it's also easy to ignore feelings when we really should be listening to them. For example, "I should marry so-and-so," pushing back signals that hint it's likely to be a disaster. Perhaps Reynolds' "You just need to notice them and go on with your life" is not meant to exclude this aspect, but it does seem quite dismissive. Maybe it would be better to say, "You just need to notice them, evaluate them, and ignore the ones that point your life in the wrong direction."?
JdL, Yes, indeed. Reynolds is pointing to the dangers of rumination and the importance of action, but there is a bigger picture too. As our mind stills, we access that greater awareness.
Though I think this is all sound advice, do you have any thoughts on how it feeds into Chronic fatigue or depression?
Dominic,
I wish I had a one size fits all answer. We only partially understand the mind-body connection, yet there is one. Respecting that connection leads to the the answer I would give today without negating the difficult experience anyone has. There are actions we take that dig our holes deeper that we want to avoid:
1. Avoid processed foods, white flour, sugar, refined vegetable oils etc.
2. Move the body. Start small and build. With medical advice, if necessary, raise the heart rate daily by climbing a hill.
3. Read a book that clearly helps present the harm of rumination. Here is one good pick: https://amzn.to/48AzgOd://amzn.to/48AzgOd
4. Read a book that points to.a larger picture. This one straddles psychology and spirituality: https://amzn.to/3RQHHij
5. Read a book with spiritual guidance. Too many and too personal to list.
6. End the day with a spiritual talk or book.
7. Watch the mind's habitual thoughts upon awakening in the morning and question them.
I'll be glad to elaborate on any of these points,
I wasn't really asking for answers, but thank you anyway. I am really asking if you recognise that this common sense advice is only useful to those who are too wrapped up in their heads rather than for people with anything more serious to deal with. It's interesting that most of your recomendations to get people out of themselves involves reading. I would highly recommend doing less passive things, in both senses of the word. Arts and crafts, or hobbies, yoga or Tai chi, or wild swimming would all have benefits above and beyond reading.
Yes, 100%. You have offered wonderful advice and advice that David Reynolds would wholeheartedly endorse.
And yes, when we are too wrapped in our heads, it is hard to begin.
Is it useful for those with more serious issues? Again, one size doesn't fit all. I think, though, that we are all moving back and forth between levels of healing and there is a certain universality to perennial advice.
Even the most healthy among us will notice that the hardest part of any task is almost always starting. I wonder why inertia is that way? I can't imagine any obvious evolutionary or social benefit to it, unless it acts as a guard against us being permanently gung-ho?
I have essays coming up on that issue. The very short incomplete answer is we resist to defend our self-concept.
My odd thought: Gravity. (yes partly tongue in cheek)
But, if it wasn't for gravity tethering us to the earth, we would be flung starward. So, it keeps us in our "sphere" of safety - the place where life not only is possible, but abounds. It is our safety belt. But, like a clumsy safely belt, it can cause a lot of issues, as well. Such as hammering us to the earth (and possibly breaking things) when we fall.
So, to react against gravity to accomplish anything, you have to expend effort/energy, like rocketfire thrusting the rocket into space, the jet engine propelling the plane into the skies where birds soar. And the more you want to do, the more energy it's going to take. So in the physical realm, the less energy you have (age, illness, already expended, hungry, etc) the less energy your engine can produce, and you get a Wright Brothers glide instead of actual lift-off.
It is said that the brain is also a muscle, and needs even more energy to function properly. So, it, by nature of being physical, as well, encounters the same problem - gravity. Even chemical process are effected by gravity, and much of the brain activity is chemical. So, again, low energy, low accomplishment. The brain never rests, even on "idle" it's still directs the myriad of para-sympathetic process in our bodies. So, with gunk in the fuel lines, the filters clogged, and inferior fuel...we are grounded. Prisoners of gravity, in our thoughts, our actions, our lives.
Evolutionary? It just hasn't caught up with us. Ever notice that "X" Starts slowing production after 30, and "Y" starts breaking down after 40 and "Z" isn't produced in any significant way after 50? We weren't meant to live that long. Fertility general peaking around 20-25, so you still have health to raise the next generation up. Living long enough for some folks to pass on the information and traditions to the next set. That was evolution, and that was the reality for thousands of years. Our living long past that is a relatively new phenomenon with the advent of hygiene, technology/machinery to aid in daily chores, and medical knowledge to extend life. So, Evolution hasn't caught up to that yet.
Just my thoughts for the morning.
I like some of this even though it's a little tongue in cheek. I have to say though, this idea that we used to die young is a common misapprehension. many lived to a ripe old age as hunter gatherers, (and through much of civilisation but not as healthily so). What skews the average is infant mortality. If you got to your teens you had a very good chance of a full life.
Or Fibromyalgia or chronic migraines or other chronic pain.
I think there are times, when it's not just "in your head" and while you can forge on through the pain and fog, and keep taking those "steps in the dark", it doesn't just "go away after 5 minutes", would that it were so. Instead you have the disappointment that you did everything you could, did all the "right" things, diet, exercise, mindfulness, eft, immunics, meditation, affirmations, wholistic modalities, and you still feel like crap. It's still a daily fight, it's still exhausting, and your spoon draw just keeps getting emptier and emptier...
Tiffanie, Absolutely. The human experience is messy and heartbreaking at times. And despite our best practices things may not go right. We forgive ourselves, forgive others and know that one day, with grace, the clouds will part.
Agreed.
All I can add to that as a fellow sufferer of chronic illness is- I hear you. Oh, and try not to be disappointed; one of the things I have found helps is acceptance. Although the mental balancing act between acceptance and the anger of the dying of the light as motivations is endless.
I would propose that being in touch with personal values are the missing link for many people. At 65 years of age, I know exceedingly few people who have a consciousness of what they value and why. Your part three discusses the non-studying student. Studying for me connects me to my value of "learning;" exercise connects me to my value of "good health," and "connection" with like minded fitness types; travel can connect me with my value of "curiosity;" being served at a restaurant by a very good waitress can connect me with my value of "generosity," and I may leave a better-than-typical tip, and so on. Consequently, exercising takes no discipline at all; I naturally do it because I place such a high value on good health. It takes a bit of effort to begin to look at life from the perspective of values, but it has changed my world over the last decade. Ya see, I didn't use to look at life that way either!
Paul, Your examples are very instructive. Thank you.
Indeed, we meet our values in the world and our values guide our actions. Making the invisible, visible is a very wise thing to do.
Thank you, Barry, and keep up the good work. I always thoroughly enjoy your articles.
Great wisdom Barry. Warmly ... John
Thank you, John!
I own several of David Reynolds’ books. They are both inspiring and very comforting.