The Art of Constructive Living

Coming next to Mindset Shifts U.

This coming Saturday, the last session of About Time—Your Team Needs You—will be posted.

On May 3^rd at Mindset Shifts U, we begin our next unit: The Art of Constructive Living.

We will consider two short, influential books on Constructive Living, one by David K. Reynolds and another by Gregg Krech. These works will continue to guide us to live more meaningfully, beyond self-imposed barriers.

In a recent edition of his newsletter, Oliver Burkeman describes self-imposed mindset barriers that he calls toxic preconditions. For example, we make up our optimal protocols for getting off to a good day. But when something gets in the way, Burkeman observes, “you’ll find yourself feeling at a major disadvantage, and/or mired in self-criticism, with no option but to promise yourself you’ll start afresh tomorrow, and do things perfectly from then on.”

If you’ve been reading Four Thousand Weeks, you’ve learned that self-created barriers to a meaningful life are endless—but once examined, they can be gently bypassed.

Burkeman observes we erect these mindset barriers "because we want to feel secure, and to avoid the risk of experiencing emotions we’re unsure we’d be able to handle.” In short, we want to control our experience of life.

Burkeman argues we never had control; all we had was anxiety. When we let go of control for “even a little bit,” he writes, “what you’re left with is one of the most powerful reasons imaginable for taking any action that feels as though it might make life more meaningful or vibrant, which is that frankly, at the end of the day, you might as well.”

The books we will consider by Reynolds and Krech will help us walk past the perceived need for control and move to take more meaningful actions.

Constructive Living draws on two Japanese philosophies: Morita, a therapeutic approach to accepting emotions as fleeting rather than defining; and Naikan, a reflective practice that fosters gratitude and awareness of our interdependence.

Perhaps you have heard the old saying: The closer you get to Philadelphia, the more all roads converge. In Constructive Living you will read echoes of Stoicism, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Metacognitive Therapy, and much more.

The late psychiatrist Shoma Morita developed his approach based on an understanding of the ephemeral nature of thoughts and feelings. As easy as it is to identify with our feelings, we are not our emotions.

Reynolds and Krech will bring our ongoing work to a deeper level as we experience our emotions without suppression, judgment, or justification. By doing so, we can gently step around them and live more fully from our highest purpose and values.

In one of his earliest books, Reynolds asks, “Haven’t you found that the feeling of confidence came after you were successful at a task or a job and not before?” Then he asks, “Then why are so many current approaches to life and therapy aiming to produce confidence first so that the clients can succeed at something?” The simple answer is that many want to fix their troubling emotions first.

Echoing Viktor Frankl Reynolds writes, “Aim for a constantly happy, anxiety-free life and you won’t get it. Focus your attention on your feelings a lot and you end up miserable.” Reynolds explains,

What I think you will find is that when you get good at doing what needs doing in your life, the feelings stop giving you such trouble. And even if your feelings become troublesome, when you are involved in constructive activity, they remain in perspective. Feelings cease to be the whole show.

Frankl and Reynolds would agree that life might seem meaningless if you are sitting on the sidelines waiting to sort out your feelings. Morita philosophy aims to shift our focus away from an obsession with symptoms to see the potential in our human nature.

Gregg Krech will introduce us to the reflective practice of Naikan, developed by Yoshimoto Ishin, a Japanese businessman. Krech offers a perspective of Naikan that might resonate with you: “Freedom is not attained by dwelling in a constant state of happiness and serenity. Freedom is the ability to live your life fully and meaningfully regardless of the range of feelings which occupy your mind and heart at any given moment.”

Naikan means “inside observation.” The reflective practice of Naikan is facilitated by considering three questions: “1. What have I received from others? 2. What have I given to others? 3. What troubles and difficulties have I caused others?”

Let’s pause for a moment and reflect on the many applications of Naikan. Reflecting on its three questions—what we’ve received, given, and caused—reveals how much we owe to others: family, friends, and even strangers whose efforts shape our lives. This gratitude, a cornerstone of Constructive Living, shifts our mindset from entitlement to appreciation, freeing us to act with purpose.

The miracle of modern life means we have all received far more than we will ever repay. The bounty we enjoy does not flow from politicians. We are indebted to the legions of men and women, living and dead, from all over the world, who made modern life possible. With that awareness, our mindset shifts, gratitude swells, and the foundation of civil society is regenerated.

Our Mindset Shift U studies, later in 2025 or 2026, will return to the Stoic philosopher Seneca. In his Moral Letter 4, written to his friend Lucilius, Seneca asks, “Surely you remember what joy you felt when you set aside your boy’s clothes and put on a man’s toga for your first trip down to the Forum.” But then Seneca reminds his friend that neither of them have left behind their childlike mindsets:

A greater joy awaits you once you set aside your childish mind, once philosophy registers you as a grown man. For childhood—or rather, childishness, which is worse—has not yet left us. Worse yet, we have the authority of grown men but the faults of children, of infants even. Children are terrified of trivial things, infants of imagined things, and we of both.

For those willing to take to heart the Constructive Living philosophy, we will learn how often we are terrified of the most trivial of all things—our fleeting thoughts and feelings. More importantly, we will learn how to graduate from our psychological childhood.

For decades, I've found practical wisdom and guidance in books by David K. Reynolds and Gregg Krech.

I hope you’ll join us at Mindset Shifts U to explore these ideas and continue your steps toward a life of meaning and purpose. No perfect preconditions are required. Imagine the freedom of living more fully, regardless of the feelings swirling within you.

The books you will need:

• David K. Reynolds, Water, Snow, Water: Constructive Living for Mental Health

• Gregg Krech, A Natural Approach to Mental Wellness

This Audible program with David Reynolds is an outstanding supplement to the books and a delight to listen to: Constructive Living.

If you are a Mindset Shifts U participant living outside of the USA and have difficulties buying the Reynolds and Krech books listed above, here are alternative suggestions.

David K. Reynolds: Constructive Living

Gregg Krech: The Art of Taking Action

Please be in touch if you need further assistance.

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