Seneca, Session 2, Part 3: An Exercise to Help Forgive the Past
The ego tries to keep anger and blame going by controlling our interpretation of the past, making change difficult in the present and future.
In “On Anger” Part 2 of Session 2, I observed that carrying grievances is like going through the day, dragging a bag of rocks, and then wondering why we're stooped over, dispirited, and exhausted.
That may make sense, but dropping a grievance that we've been carrying around with us for a very long time is easier said than done, especially when we are sure our interpretation is accurate.
Yet, I explained why our interpretation is never entirely accurate.
We are not storing videos of events in our mind.
We build our thoughts every time we call something forward from the past; we construct our memory all over again in the present moment.
That's why if you ask several people how they remember a past event, they will not all agree on what happened.
The past matters most when the same errors are repeated in the present.
If you hold a grievance based on something that happened in the past, it is being renewed in the present. It is like the library book you never get around to reading but keep renewing. You know you should return it, but you don’t until the library demands it back.
Eventually, Reality will demand we return our grievances. But why wait? When we don’t drop our bag of rocks, Reality will still support us as best it can, but we shouldn’t blame Reality when we fall down under the weight we carry.
We do not decide everything that life brings to us, but we are responsible for everything we bring to life.—Dr. Brian Ogawa
Thoughts of the past come up to be released and healed.
How? By your willingness to no longer deem them relevant in the present.
So here, based on the science of how memories are created, is something to try.