Constructive Living, Session 5: Changing Our Programming Through Meta-Awareness
"How much of modern life is the equivalent of studying outdated television listings, listening to recordings of last week's traffic and weather reports?"
Like Oliver Burkeman, David Reynolds reminds us, "Attempting to understand the mind with the mind is rather like trying to pull oneself up by one's own bootstraps."
If Reynolds and Burkeman are right, no amount of willpower will right our sinking ship. If you are watching a television show and don't like what you see on the screen, no amount of fixing the details, such as the brightness setting, will fix the basic issue.
It's time to change the programming. We use our minds to study the perennial philosophy, which helps us break free of our conditioning and restore the power of choice.
Reynolds provides examples to illustrate a change process. He reminds us, "It is important to understand what is controllable and what is not controllable in life.” Continuing, he relates this story: “At a training session one young man remarked to me, 'Because I couldn't control my anger I blew up.'”
The young man couldn’t get past his conditioning and seemed to have no free will. His conditioning taught him to link feelings and behavior. Believing that anger must be expressed, he relinquished responsibility for his behavior.
(A note about free will: During our upcoming program, Classical Wisdom for Living a Good Life, we will read a selection by David Hume on free will. Upgrade to a paid membership today and receive access to all previous sessions, plus all the valuable sessions to come.)
Reynolds explains, “We are responsible for what we do precisely because behavior is controllable. Anger alone didn't cause the young man to blow up; it was laziness and poor habits and his relinquishment of managing his behavior.”
If we don’t understand that feelings and behaviors are not the same, we “think that anger and blowing up are the same thing. They are not. Anger occurs within the mind; it’s a feeling. Blowing up is an action. It can be seen by others, manifests itself in such actions as shouting or throwing things or stomping out of the room. Confusion in this area causes both psychological and social problems.”