Bonds That Make Us Free, Session 7: Forgiveness is the Path to Freedom

Our “living connections with others and with God speak to [us] the living truth.”

When we were homeschooling, my wife and children began the day with this invocation, the “Prayer Upon Entering,” by Shea Darian, from her book Sanctuaries of Childhood.

Spirit of Love, live in this dwelling,
Live in my listening,
Live in my telling,
Live in my seeing with eyes of Grace,
Spirit of Love, abide in this place.

What does this have to do with Warner’s final pointers in Bonds That Make Us Free? Read on.

In the final chapters, 13, 14, and the epilogue, C. Terry Warner provides more medicine, sweet to our soul and bitter to our ego. If you find yourself resisting his message, that is understandable. He has upped the ante and brought his philosophy to a logical conclusion not often considered.

Let’s begin at the end. First, it’s no wonder we are often mentally exhausted. Warner writes, “When we’re stuck in self-betrayal, we dedicate ourselves to finding or producing evidence to prove that we’re acceptable and worthwhile.”

We’re insecure. Warner imagines us standing before a jury of people whose opinions we value, making the case that we deserve peace of mind. Warner sketches the scene:

But the jury members never come back with a final verdict. They hold us forever in suspense. Every hour or so, it seems, the foreman of the jury returns with a demand for more evidence. So we try again to win the jury’s favor or at least to be found acceptable in their eyes, but nothing we can do will satisfy them once and for all.

Why don’t they see the merit of our case? Warner explains: “Because from their individual points of view, they are the ones on trial. They are as concerned to have us validate their self-image as we are to have them validate ours. We sit on their jury.”

Warner describes ineffective and miserable, self-absorbed people, as often we are:

They see threats where none exist, often can’t tell their enemies from their friends, and tend to surround themselves with allies who won’t overshadow them. Invariably their plans are unduly complicated because, besides attaining their stated goals, they have to worry about who is going to get the credit.

What will lift our constraints, end our struggle, and set us free?