Bonds That Make Us Free Session 1: Our Humanity is on the Line

Thank you for forgoing “ultra-processed” media content in favor of considering the ideas in great books.

I see things I can do. Things I should do. Things I desire to do. What does the responsive way feel like? You know. — The Arbinger Institute

In his preface and chapters 1 and 2, C. Terry Warner scaffolds the themes of his powerful book Bonds That Make Us Free.

At the start, he explains why this book is for all of us: “We have felt hurt or provoked or upset by the people around us—angry, for instance. Or resentful. Or envious. Or intimidated. Or fearful. Or humiliated. Or disgusted by something done to us.”

Warner clearly states that feelings that others have disrespected or treated us unfairly is a “universal affliction.” These troubled feelings fill our minds and ruin our days. He explains,

Everyone who has ever been stuck in such troubled thoughts and feelings know how they make a shambles of our inner lives. A ‘gas law’ of emotional disturbance operates here, which might be formulated as follows: ‘Any innerspace, no matter how large, will be filled by any agitation, no matter how small. ‘

Knowingly, Warner observes, “The feelings that we blame on others, and that seem to ruin everything, rudely refuse to be evicted once they take up residence.” He acknowledges, “We feel helpless to rid ourselves of these feelings.”

Throughout his book, Warner asks us to consider various forms of this question: “What strategies do we commonly use in trying to deal with our troubled feelings and what we think is causing them?”

Our answers to such questions are not mere intellectual exercises. Our humanity depends on our answers.