If in the first act you have hung a pistol on the wall, then in the following act it should be fired.—Anton Chekhov Chekhov was pointing to a principle of good play writing: Nothing that doesn’t have its place should be inserted into a good story. We are not fictitious characters. What makes for a good story does not necessarily make for a good life.
I love looking forward to reading your ‘Mindset Shifts’. I eliminated the gotcha years ago. I replace with kindness which soothes my soul. I’m so grateful for what God has given me especially humbleness and endowing to others. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays Barry
I began to learn -- although wish this had come to me sooner in life -- that taking a PAUSE, for real and deliberately, is essential for eliminating "gotchas" and all sorts of other downward spiraling thought processes. The very second that one feels negative emotion bubbling up for any reason or around any situation (e.i., towards the unknown person who just cut you off on the freeway) is the exact time (trigger), to PAUSE. I believe this is a thought-action, if I were trying to describe it. Taking a deep breath helps confirm the pause, or talking to oneself -- "OK, no need to react to this person" -- can also help. But the INITIAL PAUSE must be a thought-action and must come first, immediately after the trigger. I suppose this might also be the "space" in between to which Fankl refers. Personally, I am always "practicing" PAUSES. Truism: the more one practices deliberately, the more something becomes second nature. Deliberation is essential. My two cents. Hope it helps.
I am not sure it is clear to me. In your own example, as per my interpretation, your judgment is to understand your wrong doing at the store. So you suggest to not judge this judgment?
Great question. My first reaction was to judge harshly my poor behavior. Had I stayed on that path, I would have started to justify my behavior by pointing to the behavior of the clerk. I would have learned little. The alternative was to see cleary what I did, by not doing a number on myself. In that light, there was something to see and a mistake that will be more easily avoided.
Love the Chekov meme paired with the Chekhov quote! I always heard it was the last act that it would be fired in, although apparently there are several conflicting interpretations of that same quote:
So good!!!
Thank you, Andre!
I love looking forward to reading your ‘Mindset Shifts’. I eliminated the gotcha years ago. I replace with kindness which soothes my soul. I’m so grateful for what God has given me especially humbleness and endowing to others. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays Barry
Thank you, Mike. Dropping the gotchas are wonderful gift to yourself and others! Merry Christmas!
How do you practically make the switch?
I began to learn -- although wish this had come to me sooner in life -- that taking a PAUSE, for real and deliberately, is essential for eliminating "gotchas" and all sorts of other downward spiraling thought processes. The very second that one feels negative emotion bubbling up for any reason or around any situation (e.i., towards the unknown person who just cut you off on the freeway) is the exact time (trigger), to PAUSE. I believe this is a thought-action, if I were trying to describe it. Taking a deep breath helps confirm the pause, or talking to oneself -- "OK, no need to react to this person" -- can also help. But the INITIAL PAUSE must be a thought-action and must come first, immediately after the trigger. I suppose this might also be the "space" in between to which Fankl refers. Personally, I am always "practicing" PAUSES. Truism: the more one practices deliberately, the more something becomes second nature. Deliberation is essential. My two cents. Hope it helps.
Very wise. Practice is everything. This is a process. Here is my own example: https://fee.org/articles/has-your-life-become-a-sitcom-about-nothing-how-to-exit-your-show/
This IS very helpful. Thank you for sharing
Love this piece, Barry! I've encountered similar situations so many times, and every time having the same internal dialog :).
Thanks, Daniel. The key to change is to not judge yourself for having the judgment. Otherwise the ego judges the ego and we spin our tires in the mud.
I am not sure it is clear to me. In your own example, as per my interpretation, your judgment is to understand your wrong doing at the store. So you suggest to not judge this judgment?
Great question. My first reaction was to judge harshly my poor behavior. Had I stayed on that path, I would have started to justify my behavior by pointing to the behavior of the clerk. I would have learned little. The alternative was to see cleary what I did, by not doing a number on myself. In that light, there was something to see and a mistake that will be more easily avoided.
Love the Chekov meme paired with the Chekhov quote! I always heard it was the last act that it would be fired in, although apparently there are several conflicting interpretations of that same quote:
https://www.azquotes.com/author/2776-Anton_Chekhov/tag/gun
Any Russians around who can interpret the original for us?
The last one
That looks the most credible to me; the others look simplified and distilled. Thanks, Daniel!